The leader of Akatsuki
by white-winter-wolf
Summary: parody of wizard of Oz Note: zu-zu is zetsu Rated T for safety
1. over the rainbow

**Chapter one: Over the rainbow**

"Over the rainbow!" 

"Itachi! Stop dieing and come here!" Itachi ran back in the house 

"Yes mother?"

"There's a lady that wants to talk to you"

Itachi saw a blue haired lady sitting on the couch holding a plant.

"Zu-zu!" Itachi ran up and picked up the plant 

"If that thing eats my cat again I will SUE!"

"I'm sorry…" Itachi looked down at his feet. The lady stormed out of the door and rode her bike out to the forest. 

"Itachi…" Itachi's mother looked at him "Sasuke could do better at keeping a plant then you…"

"You people are all the same!" Itachi ran out the house with Zu-zu's mouth in his hand. 

"What are you doing here?" a man asked Itachi 

"I'm running away"

"Yer well…come with me" The man dragged Itachi to his caravan 

"What? What are you doing? Let go of me!" Itachi realized what the man was doing "Help! Kidnapper!" 

"Pipe down!" He threw his shoe at Itachi "I need to tell ya something" Itachi looked up "A storm is coming!"

"Huh?"

"A STORM!" Itachi jumped up in fright "run, run to you're house!"

"AGH!" The man threw Itachi out the door of the caravan. 

"Go, GO!" the man threw his other shoe at him. 

"Okay! Okay I will!" Itachi ran back to his house "what a waist of time" Itachi said to him self as he reached his house, by then a cyclone was right next to his house. 

"AGH!" before he new it the cyclone was right behind him. Itachi threw himself in the house and realized his family was already in the basement eating rats or something. 

"OMG!" Itachi saw two men rowing a boat in the air "a boat!" he hid himself in the cupboard with Zu-zu.

"Aghhh?" Itachi herd someone scream and got out of the cupboard and went outside to see what was happening.

"Yay" a group of little people came up to Itachi hugging him and Zu-zu.

"What the-OMG!" Itachi fainted at the sight of curled feet.

"Hey you!" A man pored water on Itachi.

"Agh!" Itachi looked around the people surrounding him on a bed "y-you're a-" 

"Munchkin!" One of them yelled. Every one looked at him.

"…off with his head!" Three of the 'munchkin's' dragged the guy that said "munchkin" out side. Another one followed them with a razer sharp knife in his/her hand. 

"Funny…I thought you were oompa loompas" Itachi mumbled to himself. "…why are you looking at me like that?" Itachi realized all of the oompa loompas/ munchkin's staring at him with wide eyes.

"You're house squashed the witch" a beautiful (so to speak) lady popped up

"Huh?"

"I am the wonderful witch of the south…and well I command you to look out the window" the lady pointed out the window.

Itachi looked out

"Hay," Itachi turned around "you the tooth fairy aren't you?"

"Okay that's it I'm fed up with this" the 'tooth fairy' threw her 'wand' on the floor "I wore a dress, I put a wig on," she looked up to the sealing "I even tried not to swear!" She threw her wig on the floor.

Itachi realized who the person was quickly "Hidan?" 

"Oh holly Jashin" Hidan bowed down on the floor "forgive me, I will never be coned by the author again!" Hidan got up and looked up at Itachi while mumbling awful comments (probably comments about Itachi and the author) to himself. He slammed the door and jumped of the cliff.

"…don't worry about Hidan-san he always dose that" one of the munchkin's told Itachi as they went outside. 

"What do I do now?"

"Well…Hidan-san was supposed to tell you but since he got angry at the author" there was a pause "I think you have to walk on the yellow brick road, or was it red?" every one pushed Itachi on the red road.

"But why-" Every one started singing a song "okay, okay I'll go!" Itachi yelled over the singing.

"Wait! I have to do a lollypop dance thing" a worm-I mean munchkin said holding a bag fool of candy.

"What the hell-"

"…can I go now?" Itachi asked one of the people. Itachi looked around the village (which was enclosed with fire, dead bodies and hangovers). Itachi saw a bunch of munchkin's fight over the last bear bottle and then one of them yelled out "OF WITH YOU'RE HEAD!"

Itachi looked up at the red sky "that's why kids, that you shouldn't drink" Itachi put his hands in his pockets and followed the yellow brick road.


	2. I have no brain well duh

**Chapter two: "I have no brain!" well duh!**

"Which way do I go?" Itachi asked himself as the brick road was split up

"Tobi! Is a good scarecrow!" 

Itachi turned around and saw a masked 'thing' jumping around on the garden.

Zu-zu's black side started growling. 

"Come again?"

"Tobi! Is a good scarecrow!"

"Are you fanatical?" Itachi looked at the masked scarecrow

"Actually" Tobi stopped dancing and looked at Itachi, Zu-zu's white side sighed in relief "Tobi doesn't know what that means because Tobi has no brain"

"Well duh…" Itachi mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Tobi looked at Itachi 

"Oh I mean…hey look!" Itachi looked at his shoes "there high-heels, no wonder I couldn't walk"

"Where are you going Itachi-san?" Tobi asked 

"How did you know my name?" Itachi started sweating

"Tobi is a good boy that's why" Tobi started dancing again on the garden again. 

Zu-zu couldn't take it any more, he jumped out from Itachi's grip and headed towards Tobi. 

----

"Zu-zu!" Itachi scolded his pet plant "spit him out!"

Zu-zu looked at itachi with that look. You know the "don't mess with me" look. 

Zu-zu hoped into the bush.

"Zu-zu?" Itachi looked in the bush. He showed his "don't look at me" look. Itachi turned around and waited.

"Ughblupigbuhak" Itachi herd a noise coming from the bush 

"Duuurr…Tobi is a good scarecrow" Tobi ran out and headed to the forest

"Hey Tobi wait!" Itachi picked up Zu-zu and ran after him. 


	3. Deidarasempai, robot in desguise

**Chapter three: Deidara-sempai, robot in disguise**

"Tobi!" Itachi bumped into Tobi "Tobi what are you-"

"I shall rule all!" Tobi ran around a tree laughing evilly "oof!" Tobi ran into a statue. The statue started moving and well…picked tobi up. "What is the meaning of this? Get you're muggy hands off of me!" 

The clay statue thing lifted Tobi on its shoulder and patted his back

"Belch!" then Tobi's expression (Under his mask) changed "Duuurr…Tobi is a good scarecrow"

"You idiot un" The statue smacked Tobi on the head

"Wait…only one person in the whole world would say un" every one looked at Itachi "Deidara!"

"So why were you covered in clay?" Itachi asked Deidara 

"None of you're-" a pot of oil hit Deidara in the head 

"Deidara-sempai, robot in disguise" Tobi poured water on Deidara's head. 

"GRRRRR!" Deidara chased Tobi around the forest

"Agh! Deidara-sempai has no hart!" Deidara stoped in his tracks. So did Tobi…but he fell down a cliff "Weeeeeeeee" Don't worry the author sent helicopters to go and rescue him. 

"okay my pretties" a blue haired woman said "go and get that weasel" she opened a cage that was full of monkeys (with wings) "fly my pretties, fly!" she grabed one of the monkey flying thingy and kicked it out the window…there was a unpleasant "splat" noise "…should of got birds instead…"

"Can I come with you to see the leader of Akatsuki un?" Deidara asked Itachi while Tobi was off chasing butterflies. 

"The leader of what?" Itachi asked 

"You mean you don't know the leader?" Deidara looked stunned. Itachi looked down to his feet. "The leader is a guy that can do anything and everything" Deidara slapped Itachi on the head.

"Ouch!"

"You DO want to go home don't you?" Deidara looked at him. 

Itachi grabbed Deidara and Tobi's hand.

"Were off to see the leader, the leader of all of us. Because, because, because, because, because we have to do what the author tells us to do!" Itachi sang.

"Dude…what the hell un" Deidara looked at him.

"Look it'll be better later…" Itachi's face went scarlet red.


	4. SHARK!

**Chapter four: SHARK!  
**

"…are we there yet Deidara-sempai?" Tobi asked Deidara

"NO!" Itachi yelled 

"Tobi wasn't asking you!" Tobi pointed and laughed 

"Itachi…can't we ask for directions?" Deidara asked Itachi 

"No"

"Roar!" a voice came out from the bush. Tobi screamed and hid behind Deidara

"GET OF ME UN!" Deidara threw Tobi on the floor.

"Wait…Tobi has an Idea!" Tobi stood up.

"Pigs and ponies and sharks" Tobi sang

"OMG!" 

"Pigs and ponies and sharks"

"No really OMG!" Deidara and Itachi ducked.

"ROAR!" a blue thing jumped on Zu-zu

"ROAR!" Zu-zu's black side roared x10 louder 

"EEEEK-I mean AGGGHHHH-I mean OH NO!" The blue thing was going crazy, Zu-zu ate the big sword on his back. "Wait…" Itachi realized the sword immediately "That's-"

"SAMEHADA!" Kisame's eyes turned red "ITACHI!" Kisame ran behind Itachi.

"Kisame, Why are you so scared of Zu-zu?" Itachi asked while he was patting Zu-zu

"It has a name?"

"Kisame-san can come with us to the leader of Akatsuki!" Tobi interrupted

"What?" deidara, Itachi and Zu-zu (well it sounded like Zu-zu was saying it)

"You'll take me?" Kisame's eyes were watery

"No-"

"YES!" Tobi Interrupted again.

"Gosh thanks, you guys are the best" Kisame used Deidara's hair to blow his nose

"Ewwwww! un" Deidara jumped in the lake, Trying to wash off the sticky substance from his hair

"Hay Itachi" Kisame whispered to Itachi

"WHAT?" Itachi didn't look very pleased

"I want to tell you a song" Kisame grabbed everyone's hand "Were off to see the leader, the leader of all of us. Because, because, because, because, because we have to do what the author tells us to do!"

Everyone looked at Kisame.

"What?" kisame looked puzzled at everyone

"Copy right!" Itachi yelled out, his sharingan turning bright red.

"Hey look!" Deidara pointed at a castel

"What?"

"It's Atlantis!" Tobi yelled.

A pause

"Lets blow it up un" Deidara reached in his pocket and took out some clay.

"Atlantis is under the sea" Kisame reminded "hey I feel like singin-"

"Don't even think about it" Itachi walked to the castel

"What?"

"Can I come in?" Itachi asked

"NO!" The Door slammed in his face 

"What now?" Kisame asked

"I have an idea un!" Deidara grabbed some clay

"Nice job Deidara" Itachi looked around the city 

"Thank you un" Deidara said proudly 

"Look Deidara-sempai!" Tobi pointed 

"It's The Leader!" every one cheered


	5. Leader pein

**Chapter five: Leader pein**

"Oh shut up" The leader hit one of the city people

"I got hit by the leader! I'm blessed!" the person the leader hit said gracefully

"I wanna go home!" Itachi wailed 

"Tobi wants a brain" Tobi screamed 

"I wanna be not-afraid" Kisame pleaded

"I wanna be a real boy!" Deidara Yelled. Every one looked at him "I mean I want to have a hart"

"Uhh…okay…" Leader-sama said blankly "Tobi come here," Tobi skipped over to leader-sama. He opened a box "ok Tobi you can pick the one you like" Everyone blocked there nose, Kisame hid behind Itachi.

"Tobi likes this one" Tobi picked the biggest one in the box and jammed it in his mask hole. At that sight Kisame fainted.

"Wake up!" Leader-sama slapped Kisame 

"Ouch"

"Ok now close you're eyes" Leader-sama ordered. Kisame did as he was tolled "okay now um…you will not be scared of uhh…any thing" Leader-sama snapped his fingers. 

"you're a life saver!" Kisame ran around the room

"Don't do that!" Tobi scolded Kisame "you will fall over"

"…anyway Deidara you're next" Deidara walked over to the Leader "Kakuzu!" 

"Yes?" Kakuzu asked 

"go give Deidara one of you're harts"

"but-" Kakuzu saw leaders "Don't mess with me look" (yes Leader-sama has the look too). So Kakuzu did what he was tolled and led Deidara to a room.

"What about-"

"Ok, let's go eat some pudding" Leader walked out of the room with Kisame and Tobi

"What dose that say?" Kisame asked, pointing at the sky

"Don't now, its in cloud righting" Tobi explained 

Deidara came back looking a bit green in the face

"What happened to you?" Kisame asked 

"I refused" Deidara said in a low voice

"Sorry to interrupted but-"Leader interrupted the conversation "but I think you should go to the wicked witch of the toast"

"Toast?" Everyone looked at the leader

"What are you doing? looking around the place go, GO!" Leader-sama kicked the five outside.

"What are we doing again?" Kisame whispered 

"I donno…" Itachi whispered back

"Why are we whispering?" Tobi whispered "and why are we huddling up?"

"It's dramatic" Deidara kicked Tobi

"AGH!" Kisame yelled "Flying racoons!" 

"there Monkeys you idiot!" a blue haired woman came out of the bush

"Lets get rid of them Zu-zu…Zu-zu?" Itachi saw Zu-zu carrying a watering can, pouring water to the trees.

Itachi grabbed the watering can and threw it at the lady. It hit her head.

"I'm melting!" She melted to the floor 

"Yes!" Itachi jumped up into the air "we killed the wicked witch of the East-I mean toast" Everyone started dancing. 

"Is it just me or is it weird that Tobi is tripping all over the place, music in the background and women giving us drinks?" Deidara asked Itachi 

"Yes" 

"You Idiot!" Leader scolded the five "that wasn't the witch, that was Konan"

"She's a witch to me…" Itachi mumbled 

"follow me…" leader tolled Itachi

"Up, up and away!" Pein flew up in the air 

"What the hell?"

"You said you wanted to go home" Leader explained

"wait…were's Zu-zu?" Itachi asked

Zu-zu was found on the ground sleeping next to a dozen, half eaten people.


End file.
